I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
