She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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