I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
