I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
