highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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