Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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