Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
