you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
