Me too!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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