He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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