The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
