bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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