Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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