FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
