belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
