i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
