We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
