you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
