oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He felt like a one man threesome
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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