she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
