so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
