party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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