How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
