Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this just has baby written all over it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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