People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
