some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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