the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is the high leading the old right now
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
