So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
