I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
