Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
