Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
