I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
