She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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