went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
