CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
