I hate all girls vehemently.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
