is your mom at the bar?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
