i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
