New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
