It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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