Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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