Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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