Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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