so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
