Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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