it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
