sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
