Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
