he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
