The maid of honor just puked.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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