Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
